My entire life I have struggled to distance myself from manipulative, unapologetic, and judgmental individuals. Over the years, I have come to realize that there are people in this world who can’t separate themselves from negativity. In fact, they thrive on putting others down to cope with their own deep-rooted insecurities.
While I firmly believe in living in the moment, I also think it’s important to recognize how our past can affect us. As someone who has dealt with bullies since a young age, it has taken me a substantial amount of time to recognize this and begin to mend the damage it had done.
I have no tolerance for negative and unappreciative individuals who refuse to see the positive. They wallow in their problems and fail to focus on finding a solution to their unhappiness. These people want you to join in their pity so they can feel better about themselves for a brief moment in time. I used to get caught up in this toxic behavior and just played along, despite how wrong I thought it was.
But over time, the negativity began taking a toll on me and I had to learn how to stop this pattern. Especially with those closest to me. I adore my family and respect them for the obstacles they have overcome, but their critical and sometimes judgmental ways were hurtful. I started setting boundaries on what I could handle and distanced myself when necessary. Rather than give into these negative tendencies to appease them, I have found that changing the subject to something nice and positive was not only better for me, but better for our relationship.
Also, I try to maintain a healthy emotional distance from people. I’m not saying to close your heart from love or refuse to open up emotionally. But before I was like a sponge absorbing everyone’s energy. Whether they were sad, angry, jealous, etc. I became too invested and it affected my emotional state. If someone is flooded with derailed thinking, sometimes the best way to handle it is just smile and nod.
But of course, this is often easier said than done. Especially when this negativity is often targeted at you. For a long time, I struggled with what other people thought of me. I was more focused on their opinion, instead of focusing on being myself. When your sense of pleasure and self is acquired from the opinions of others, you can’t master your own happiness. And I couldn’t.
Until my friend gave me a book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. After reading one chapter, something inside me clicked. I felt relieved. I felt confident. I felt proud to be myself. This book taught me how to ignore what others thought of me and never take anything personally – especially from negative individuals. Emotionally intelligent people feel good about themselves and their actions and they won’t let anyone’s opinion take that happiness away from them.
I finally stopped comparing myself to others because my self-worth comes within.
The Top 6 People to Avoid:
It’s easy to be sucked into gossip – we are all guilty of it every now and then. But there is a line that is crossed from petty gossip to intruding on someone else’s personal or professional life. And for some people, this line is VERY blurred. Not only is it bad karma, but feeding on the misfortunes of others is bullying and wrong.
2. Flaky People
We all have them in our lives: unreliable and dishonest procrastinators. They never keep their word. They’ll tell you they are going to do one thing and they never do. It is important to surround yourself with loyal and dependable people who will always have your back. Not ones who bail on your when you need them most.
3. Arrogant People
Don’t confuse confidence with arrogance. Confident people inspire while arrogant annoy and intimidate. Plain and simple.
4. Debbie Downers
Someone who is always negative and drain your positive energy immediately. They will always discredit every idea you have. Rather than giving you support, they will point out every little thing that will go wrong.
Chronic lairs are harmful because you never know what to believe so you can’t count on their promises or their word.
Those who disguise your interests as their interests for their own selfish advances. These people only think of themselves and never have your best interest at heart, despite how much they say they do.
You are the only person that controls your happiness. These 6 types of people will always be in your life. It is inevitable. But it is how you handle them that will make or break your relationships. Be confident and happy within your self – don’t rely on others to make you feel better or let them affect that positivity. Love yourself and the rest will fall into place.